the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we're so committed to being not committed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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