Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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