Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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