All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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