In the future we'll all be gay
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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