I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
