I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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