Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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