you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it was like eating out sand paper
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
