Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize