You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
vagina is talking i cant
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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