just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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