Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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