i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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