We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
