I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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