after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
