Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
