I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
