Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
