Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
