Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
