Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
