lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
