I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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