Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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