Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
