ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
