There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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