Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
