You're completely useless in the revolution.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize