Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
