i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
