when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
