Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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