You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
