I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
...so i touched it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
