just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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