seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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