is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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