I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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