Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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