You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
