Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize