He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
