Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize