A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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