Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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