That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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