laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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