I want to have your abortion
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
