New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
