U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize