Are we in a gay sports bar?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
