i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
