therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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