I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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