Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
