Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
