Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
