I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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