Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
They took my balls.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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