I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
should my penis look like a turkey
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
