Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
